Since the pandemic started the idea of work, life balance changed faster than any other time in history. It wasn’t great before but women had to step into the breach to hold businesses together, keep teams performing and juggle work and home more than ever.
The result of which has been an additional 32 years added to the gender pay gap! Women have given so much and lost so much of their balance, we’ve set ourselves back another whole person aged amount back! This represents a slight four-year improvement compared to the 2021 estimate (136 years to parity) but still.
Work plays a significant part in all our lives. Our earnings ensure that the lights stay on, there’s food on the table and the rainy-day pot is full. But it’s no easy task in today’s connected society, it’s more and more difficult to separate work and home.
And now the added dimension of more people than ever are working from home, from 12% pre-pandemic to 24% now.
Employers expect more from their people, which leads to them feeling more pressure to achieve greater results. Consequently, this leads to longer working hours, and the challenges of disconnecting with working at home.
And with this set to continue we’ll see increasing burnout, mental health issues and a new form of presentism.
The Lie of Work Life Balance for Women at The Top
As a business leader, you have a responsibility to help all your team juggle the demands of their work and personal lives. Even your most engaged employees may still be struggling to find balance… Time to role model what you want to see.
The idea of balance for women at the top is a lie, a myth and misleading. The idea that we can have it ALL, that anything less is a failure and that we need to be superwomen to create this perfect balance.
The reality is that there is no such thing as balance, it’s a lie and a myth. There is no time in our life when work and life is perfectly balanced and offset each other. We are human and our lives are messy by very nature.
We’re a slightly different person every day, depending on how we’ve slept, eaten, has the boss p*ssed us off and the pressure we’re under.
So instead of balance, let’s take the pressure off. And think instead as there being times of our life, with ebbs and flow, a different pace and priority. And for each chapter of our life there are choices.
As Jack Welch said: “There’s no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”
For example you might be a new mum and your focus is rightly there. Or you’ve just landed a BIG new job and your focus is there. Or taking on a new education path with a MA. All of these are seasons of your life to create your own “balance”.
We should ask better questions
Balance is not a helpful word. The idea that career and home weigh the same at any time. We are human beings, living in a messy every changing world.
There is NOT balance, a perfect equilibrium. But instead there is what makes us happy, fulfilled, excited or content?
It’s ALL a Damn LIE
In truth, to me, the work/life balance is a lie. We have our lives… our family, home and the passions of what we LOVE doing.
TRUTH: Life is messy, not nice and neat, balanced and equalised. It’s up and down, it’s amazing and awful.
“I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, ‘For the same reason I laugh so often–because I’m paying attention.’
I tell them that we can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved. We must decide.”
Glennon Doyle
Then we have work which is not separate, it’s an important part of our lives… no matter how we feel about it. I hope you do something that fills you up, that makes your heart sing. But unfortunately that isn’t all the women I speak to.
It’s all about LIFE BALANCE from choices you make… to find your own balance that works for you. To fulfil ALL the roles you have in your life:
- Colleague, boss and leader at work
- Partner at home
- Daughter, sister and relative
- Mummy for your children
- Friend for your closest peeps
- And YOU for YOU
But we are not just roles, we also need time for our souls. For our passions and purpose, that gives us those heart giddying moments. We can all too easily hide behind roles. So busy we have no time or energy left for us, we have no “balance” which leads to burnout.
That’s a lot to balance out. Yet they’re all important to you as they make up you and your identity – and you want to give all those roles the respect they need.
I always talk to my clients about finding YOUR balance.
Oh and this is one I still work on for sure, I’m not perfect but today I wanted to share what I have found works for me and my clients.
How to find YOUR balance
– Point 1: Find YOUR balance
Consider what balance looks and feels like to you. What is your definition? For many of my clients it is that feeling of being in control and on the front foot, reactive and energised. Not the back foot, feeling reactive and depleted.
– Point 2: Your season for a reason
What is your season of life right now? What is your focus and priority? What choices fit with you from there? You can have it “all” BUT there will be ebbs and flows in your focus on your way.
– Point 3: Your Diary reflect your loves
Own your diary to reflect your chapter of life. Set it up so your days happen for you, not to you. Set boundaries and say no to what does not fit with your life chapter.
– Point 4: Get Organised
Support yourself and clear your head, by getting help where you can. It’s a sign of strength and being in control. Help at home, such as pre cooked meals, a cleaner or at work with delegating more to your team.
– Point 5: Be in the Moment and Trust
Stop time travelling forward and backward, instead find things that absorb your thoughts and time to be in the now. And trust everything is as it should be.
If you found this useful please share, and here’s my Overwhelm to On Fire: The 5 Minute Head Clearing Checklist for Women in the Corporate World … just click here to download your FREE copy!
Big love
Nic
