Does it feel like you give more and more, yet in that busyness you’ve lost your value and worth?
You’re feeling frustrated at giving more at work, the constant fire fighting to step into the breach needed to keep the business alive. Whilst also balancing hybrid working out of the office and home with running around after the kids and the rest of the household jobs.
The truth is you give so much time, love and energy to everyone else. You give so much of yourself there’s nothing left for you. And you know it needs to change.
You’re overwhelmed, overthinking and overgiving. It leaves each day like a race to get through, there’s no joy anymore and you just try to get through a day at a time. Yet each day you give so much you feel more and more unappreciated and undervalued.
You can feel you’re at the point you want to shout fuck off from the roof tops, hide in the loo just to have some time for you. The resentment is real, and you can feel it rising up in you.
The more that you give, the more that you do the less you feel appreciated and undervalued. And you’re sick of it!
The Real Reason You Feel Undervalued and Unappreciated
Feeling Not Enough = Overgiving + Self sacrifice + Compromise = Unappreciated and Undervalued
At the heart of all this is NOT feeling enough. There I said it, time to face into it and know that this is part of something deeper for you.
You give more and more hoping to feel enough. The scatter gun effect includes:
- Volunteering for development opportunities at work that never lead to the promised promotion
- Doing others work for them as it’s easier to just know it’ll get done when you need it
- There’s never any time, love or energy left for you when you give it all away to others. The tank is empty.
The TRUTH
Your value and worth is NOT ever going to be found in what others think or feel about you. It has to be a heartbeat from within. That you dig deep, under the layers of who we should, would or could. To find who you truly are. So you show up in the world as yourself, showing your value and worth simple by being you.
Simply, beautifully, wholeheartedly, without apology or compromise … YOU. The YOU-IEST you!
Think of it like a mirror, how we allow others to treat us as a true reflection of how we see ourselves.
What pisses us off in others, is likely to be a trigger for us and something we need to work on.
What we LOVE in others, are the values and inspiration that leads us.
All of that giving away your time, love and energy is simply a barometer of your own value and worth right now. If it’s too much and depleting you, then it’s a sign there’s more investigating to truly see your value and worth. To then show the outside worth.
Time to stop what Brene Brown calls “hustling for your worth” .. the doing and giving MORE. Time instead to stop and come back to you.
5 Super Simple Steps to KNOW your Value and Worth
- Value YOU first
Give more time, love and energy to YOU especially if you’re exhausted from giving so much to everyone else.
Look at your diary and be honest about the amount of time your giving out to others and what’s left for you. Even estimate a % split. And then consider what you would LOVE it to be. Add diary bookings for YOU that are none negotiable, a hot bath, a cuppa chat on zoom with a friend, an exercise session. When you start to value your worth others will see it to.
- Set brave boundaries
If you’re not used to setting boundaries this might feel awkward, but start with something simple eg finish work at a certain time, or phone off an hour before bed. Set an hour aside for lunch once a week. Working from home means we’re more challenged with boundaries than ever before, it’s down to you to set them. And be brave, bold and implement one or two now.
- Say NO
Know and trust yourself when you know it’s a no for you. It’s a no to that person in that moment not a no forever. So many of my clients struggle to say no, in case they’re not liked or piss someone else of, settle for resenting doing something over a moment of awkwardness saying no. Start in front of mirror if you need to, but start to practice a NO unless it’s a heart led excited yet.
- List of wins
Sit down and write out a list of wins in your life, achievements, challenges you’ve overcome and what you’re proud of. From childhood to know, big to small. That lady is WHO you already are, right here, right now. That’s your value and worth, days you don’t feel it go back and read it, to unlock that inner Beyonce!
- Finally, a bit woo but remember you’re a freak of nature for even existing.
You’re a 400 trillion to one freak of nature, that your mum and dad did that thing in that moment to make YOU! There’s a reason you’re here beautiful, in your existence is hope and light, a difference to the world. It might just need some work and a little time to find that fire again!
Which step are you going to start with? Message me here to let me know
If you found this useful please share, and here’s my Overwhelm to On Fire: The 5 Minute Head Clearing Checklist for Women in the Corporate World … just click here to download your FREE copy!
Big love
Nic x
