Nicola: [00:00:00] hello. Welcome to the female leaders on fire podcast. I am your host. I am Nicole Buckley and I am the coach work women at the top of organizations and aspiring future leaders, helping them to find their fire. So that passion, that purpose, the excitement. So they can have more impact and influence and income as a result and try positive change in organizations.

So today we are still am with focused on confidence. So this is one of the shorter leaderships lessons podcasts. So the first one was all about why you might be lacking in confidence and giving you some of the reasons. Y you might not be feeling so confident as a woman at the top at the moment. So today what I wanted to talk about was the truth about confidence.

And I just also want to chat a structure or a framework that I give my clients when [00:01:00] they’re thinking about confidence and how to help them to feel more confident. So get your pens and your journals out. You’re going to want to jot this down. But as before, I’m just trying to stick to the 10 minute. So I have a timer on challenging myself to shorter episodes and just have small takeaways that you can implement immediately.

So the truth about confidence. So I wanted to share these again because a particular client that I work with. When we first started working schedule and she really wasn’t being confident in her role, incredible woman had done so much, could achieve so much more had this incredible potential, but it was also at the very top of our game already.

When we talked about her confidence, it was all about the environment. It was all about over-giving overworking so long support in an organization for the pandemic and also not setting boundaries and not saying. But there’s just some truths about confidence that we talked about as well, that I think could really help you.

So if you’re not feeling as confident at the moment, or if you’re not feeling as [00:02:00] confident in a particular situation, these truths might help you just because this is taking away from that feeling of not being confident and the timelines again. I mean something about you that you’re not, you’re not enough in your role that you don’t deserve to be in your role.

Who are you to do this role? These trees are just human truths about conflict. So kind of how you see the Ashley, this isn’t just how you feel. It’s probably how everyone feels at some point in their career or in their day or in a week. It has certain situation. So the first truth about confidence, everyone feels nervous.

So that feeling of kind of scare sizing. So when something’s scary, exciting, and that feeling kind of nerves that you might feel in your stomach, and you might feel your heart rate increase, you might feel a bit sweating hot, and you might stumble on your words. Nerves a perfectly natural they’re perfectly normal.

So our first treat is that everyone feels nervous and that feeling of that sense of being nervous, just to reframe that I share with [00:03:00] clients nerves are that scat stare, sighting feeling just. They’re showing you that you’re doing something new. They’re reminded that you’re stepping out your comfort zone.

They’re a sign that you’re becoming more and you’re stepping into something bigger and that’s purely a branding mechanism. That’s purely the brain trying to keep you safe. So when you’re stepping into something new or a new meeting, a new role or something, that’s really important to you, um, you’re going into a review.

You’re going into a conversation that you think might be confrontational. That feeling of nervousness, it’s a brain mechanism, so that will always happen. But the more that you push yourself, the more that you step into those new, those new areas and that the bigger you allow yourself to become. And. The braver you’re going to become, and you’re going to feel more confident because you’ve done it again because it’s not the first time, you know, that there’s more there.

So that’s number one. Number two, no one is above or [00:04:00] below you. So I know, obviously within the corporate world, there’s a hierarchy, but sometimes we can really internalize that we can really make that mean something about ourselves. We can make ourselves feel lesser as a result. So even if your boss is the CEO yes.

In the hierarchy, There are more senior level, but actually that he, they are still a person. Interesting. I wouldn’t say he there, they’re still a person they’re still gonna have strengths. They’re still gonna have weaknesses. They’re still gonna have good days. They’re still gonna have bad days. So no one is above or below you instead of thinking of it in a different way.

So when you’re comparing, you’re not feeling so confident, just remind yourself that we’re all on our own roads and keep your eyes really focused on your own business before being distracted, led into other. And just be conscious of where you’re, where you’re putting your time and your love and your energy, because actually you’re completely in control of that.

And for example, your boss doesn’t have all the power. It is not the last say because they’re your boss. [00:05:00] You can still challenge. You can still ask what you need. You can still voice an opinion that is still all available to you. So number two, truth about confidence. No one is above or below. Number three.

Oh, you need to be confident is certainty in you. And this is what I talk to clients a lot about certainty. The way that I teach and coach confidence is really about having certainty in yourself. So that’s really certainty and knowing yourself inside, out, back to front, the black and white and all the gray areas in between and becoming the world’s leading authority in it yourself, because no one else is going to do that.

And really the truth here. It’s all about that. The more you get to know yourself, the more confident you’re going to feel. You’re going to know your reactions. You’re going to know your stories. You’re going to understand why you responded a certain way. And this is built day in, day out. From your knowledge, from your understanding from self-awareness, this isn’t from job titles for qualifications or your level of seniority.

This is from [00:06:00] you knowing yourself. And this is something that can be built every single day. So number four, confidence is something that you build every day by becoming an expert in you. And these are little steps every day. So that understanding of how you feel. The understanding of why you say things in a certain way, why you think something, uh, why are you feel I’m reacting a certain way to a meeting or a conversation that you’ve been in and why you do certain things that don’t serve you.

And it’s not about beating yourself up. This is about understanding yourself and accepting change. Number five, nothing bad will happen either way. So, so fifth truth confidence. So you’re not going to die from lack of confidence. You’re not gonna have nothing awful is gonna happen. You know, suddenly going to be fired.

You’re not going to someday be pushed out your job. It’s not the worst thing that can happen, but just to be aware, you will lead a smaller life and you won’t be finding that fire and creating your dreams. If you [00:07:00] just keep. Myth of coffee. You keep lacking that confidence and knowing that and feeling that and acting from that and showing up in that way has nothing wrong with days or weeks that you feel less confident, but it’s a brain mechanism.

So don’t let that stop you for filling all of your potential as a leader. So those are five myths of confidence that she reminds us, that everyone feels nervous. No one is above or below you. Everyone’s aware I road. All you need to be confident is certainty in you. Confidence is something you build every day by becoming the world’s leading authority in yourself.

And number five, uh, nothing bad is going to happen to you. If you’re just lacking a bit of confidence or having a wobble that day. So next part of what I want to share just, um, really is around what is confidence? What does it actually mean? And again, something I share with clients when we’re discussing confidence, competence is purely and simply sets you as yourself to walk into a room and be the most confident [00:08:00] person in that room.

Because you’ve got that certainty from event because you know yourself truly and deeply and intimately, because you’ve done that work because you have that self-awareness. So I might seem to be confident, but my confident isn’t from creating this framework of confidence. This is from knowing myself.

This is from knowing what’s important to me, understanding my purpose, knowing my values and living by them and now much more than ever. I now know and accept that love all me and the light and the dark. And the fun and the serious and the deep and the shallow and the obvious and the mysterious and all of that.

There is a one hack or tip I can share. That’s got me there. It’s just been little steps daily building that trust in myself. So just to finish off today’s episode, I want to just share the confidence some, and this is something that I share with my clients. Just when, again, when I’m not feeling confident, how can we start to help you feel more confident?

And with that, some is confidence equals. Truth about what you believe about [00:09:00] yourself and others in the world. Add certainty, sets about yourself and clarity, clarity of what you want from your life. So just to repeat that confidence equals truth. What you believe about yourself, that others, others in the world add certainty in yourself at clarity, in what you want from your life.

And the really exciting part is confidence is all women. That feeling of certainty, that being able to start proud tool behind who you are, all of that comes down to you, you have all the answers, you have everything you need, and those answers are in your story. They’re in your feelings, they’re in your belief, they’re in your values, they’re in your experience and they’re in your passion.

So all they’re like diamonds in the rough waiting to be found. So it’s really, really important just to understand when you’re not feeling conflict, go back to where are you lacking that confidence? Is there a truth that you’re not allowing yourself to say is a lack of certainty in yourself, know yourself a little bit more, or is there a [00:10:00] lack of clarity in what you actually want?

So that’s it for today’s episode. So we’ve got, had our second leadership lesson and today’s is all about the confidence. What is actually confidence and the five truths about confidence. So I’d love to know what you think, um, which one of those resonates with you. Um, we’ve got one more leadership lesson on confidence and that’s some three super simple, yet super powerful confidence hacks.

If you’re not feeling too confident at the moment, or you’re having a day where you’re wobbling, just, you want to make a note of these and come back to and use them again. So that’s it for today. If you’re feeling you’re lacking confidence in your leadership role at the moment, do drop me an email. All the details are in the show notes, and we can speak abs I can share how I can help you.

Thanks so much. Bye

[00:11:00] If what I took about really resonates with you and you love what. And you have moments and flashes of inspiration from the podcast. I would invite you to get in touch, to find out how I can help you. So individually, that can be through my coaching focus program for my VIP program, depending on how you like to learn and what will suit you, or I can help you in your organization to really help the women that you work with across the organization at all differently.

And at that very senior level to really feel empowered and to know that they can reach the very, the most senior levels in that organization and to give them the confidence in who they are and the clarity, what they want to be able to get there. And we do that through workshops, do that through leadership programs, and we can do that free consulting work.

If you are looking for help with any of that, drop me an email nycla@nicholasschoolco.com, the spelling, not the easiest. So all the details are in the show. Results. I get for clients. Clients have been promoted twice in the six months we’ve worked together. They’d been invited to join the [00:12:00] board. They’ve gone from redundancy to being offered three dream jobs.

They’ve gone from being pushed out of an organization to going into bigger organization in a bigger role with a bigger pay rise and just a quote from a client that particular. I’ve gone from the pit of despair. When I started working with Nick to just being really happy and she is an incredibly empowered leader.

Now, if you’re not quite ready for that, you can download my overwhelmed on fire guide the details that are in the show notes, but that really helps you everyday to stay in your fire. So it helps you to clear your head, helps you to come back to what’s important to you, and it helps you have that most impact and influence every single day.

It’s a little Quip sheet that you can just go through and tick. So go and download that. Or you can subscribe to my newsletter, which comes out every Friday, which is a Roundup of the week. Really? So what’s going on in my world. What’s the blog for that week, a quick video, that’s going to help your particular subject.

And it’s all about helping female leaders to find their fire and also stats in and any [00:13:00] research from the industry as well. And things that I’m reading the. Um, recommendations that we’re making. So go and subscribe to that. And finally, for the podcast, if you haven’t done so already, I would love you to go and leave us a review and subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

And you’re always going to have the one that release and doing that as well. Not only helps you, but it also means that we’re going to reach more women and we’re going to be able to start that revolution to helping female leaders to keep that. Find their fire and keep it. So keep that passion, that purpose side excitement.

So if you haven’t done that already, please go and do that. Thank you.