Nicola: [00:00:00] hi and welcome to the female leaders on fire podcast. I’m your host. I’m Nicola Buckley. I am the coach working with women at the very top in the corporate world, helping them to find their fire. So. That passion, that purpose Sykes assignment, so that they could have more impact, more influence and income as a result, but also be a real force for good driving positive change in the corporate world.

So welcome to today’s show. Uh, first of all, just want to set a bit of context. If I sound a little bit hoarse today, or if I start coughing, I have just had a positive PCR test come back yesterday. So I am currently isolating for. Uh, this will be day two, cause I’ve had symptoms for a couple of days, so I will be isolating for Christmas in the Onyx of our house.

So I will be [00:01:00] just waving at my fiance who is negative and yeah, just, we’ve just spent a bit of time. Canceling plans trying to reset plans for hopefully when I’m feeling better, but I don’t feel awful, but I’m not feeling a hundred percent. So today’s show is just going to be a little bit shorter, more succinct, and just really focused on.

Just sharing the lessons from a 2021 that has been, I don’t, I don’t really know how to describe it kind of feels like it came and went in a flash and just left us with shock and on, in some ways brilliantly and, and I’ve always not at all. So, yeah. So if you just bear with me through today’s podcast and, um, I really wanted to get this recorded and out for Christmas.

If you downloaded it on the actual day, it’s going to be Christmas Eve. So I hope whatever you’re doing, you’ve got some you’re with your loved ones. Uh, you’ve got some great foods. You’ve got some time off just to relax and to pause and stop and be and whatever you’re doing. I just hope [00:02:00] that you have a great, a great time after a year of just constant change again.

So if I stop and look back at where we were or where I was a year ago and where I am now, so a year ago, Just to set some context around these lessons. I’m going to share with you a year ago, we were, we had just picked up the keys to our military house in Houseton for my partner to finish his working life with the Navy and his, and this commission.

So he just handed us notice any, you have to give a year’s notice. So he’s working through that. Kind of packed up, but knew we were going to have Christmas in Plymouth and we were getting ready to move in very early January down to Helston start this new life that we knew was going to be for at least until the September.

And then the plan was from September to go to Warrick and move up to Warrick. So my partner has been interviewed for medical school, um, and we were about to move up to Warrick and we [00:03:00] planned to go and visit and look at houses and things and yeah, waiting for. The feedback and fame to get offered a place at medical school.

And that was the plan. And may at that time as well, I was incredibly burns. How earlier in 2020 I’d had emergency surgery. And even though I felt like I’d taken a good amount at the time. To reset and relax. I’d probably came back things a little too early and I was just incredibly tired. I was incredibly burnt out and I was really struggling with my health and my energy.

But on the positive side, we were engaged. We’d booked a wedding for November. That was then reboot for the February. Obviously that changed again and again, and that didn’t actually happen. And we were. Excited about the change we were looking forward to it. And I knew that I had to, from a business perspective, I knew that I had to make some big changes and I knew that I wanted to move specifically into [00:04:00] leadership coaching and working with women at the very top of organizations.

And I’d already been doing a lot of that, but I didn’t think I own the title. I didn’t think that was who I was talking to. So I knew there were some big changes ahead, but I knew that I had to spend some time getting my energy back and really understanding what was going on with my body. What was going on with my health.

So that’s where we were. And where are we now, if I took some time, I took some time last week, just looking back and had a day planning 20, 22. But that obviously that started with looking back and when I stopped and reflected and thought about everything that I had achieved in 2021. Despite health issues, despite so much change at home, I’m actually incredibly proud of myself.

I’m proud of what the business is. And I’m really excited for the future animals. So proud of how we are as a couple and where we are, what our plans are, item. [00:05:00] Yeah. Just feel very blessed and very grateful and very quietly. And contentedly excited for 20, 20 T. So where are we now? So we moved house a gang, so we.

Back living in my beach house in Cornwall. Um, and that’s some of the foreseeable future I have got this incredible new office space that I’ve already had appliance in that I am going to, I’ve just bought some, started buying some furniture for, and I absolutely love just to have that separation, um, and to have that very focused working space, but also to have, have a bit of a culture of people around me when I work and some supporters.

Just a really inspirational space work in as well. So it’s in an old converted barn and I’m absolutely loving that. So happened very quickly after we moved home, I’m having new understanding of what’s going on with my health. So that’s something that I’m learning to manage and learning support myself with.

So I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. Again, I’m starting to feel fitter and [00:06:00] stronger, stronger, stronger. Uh, positive PCR test aside to that and to starting to feel like I can get that energy back and get, get back to that feeling really great. And really, like, I’m not having to think about every single thing that I do.

I don’t know how to pace myself. I have also within my business, so I’ve made some huge changes there. So I spent the first part of the year dismantling my old business, which has strong heart along with that letting go of, so. Clients and dismantling some old programs that just the at see me I’d love to at the time, but there was a next evolution was the next step rule.

The healing that I did at the beginning of the year at all the change in perspective that I had, it felt like there was something more. And those clients are though. They were brilliant. Maybe weren’t quite the right fit for me, but I’m so grateful for being part of the world and then being part of my world.

So dismantling that old business and then setting up effectively a [00:07:00] brand new business, which is Nicholas school, career coaching. So school coping my yet to be married name as an aside, the wedding is now for September next year. So we are. Just assuming that we’ll go ahead of see, we can’t be a hundred percent, but we’re just got every hope that it will do.

So saying that news business. So there’s been a website. We now have a website developed. We have an, a weekly newsletter that goes out called the fireside. Um, we have a podcast that we launched back in July, which you’re listening to right now that we’ve had two and a half thousand downloads for the two countries I’ve worked with 50 clients.

And then if you, if you add corporate, since that I’ve worked nearly a hundred clients over the year, um, and even during the pandemic, we’ve had months of real growth and at home or dogs brilliant as always slightly. Slightly insane and gorgeous and annoying and love them there and just brilliant as ever.

[00:08:00] And we are now in our house and we are very settled and we’re just, yeah, closer than ever after some really, really hard times this year and making the decision together that medical school wasn’t the right thing. And moving away from our support network and moving back to somewhere and new opportunities coming up for my partner, which is really exciting.

So the difference between that. And now is everything has changed. Literally everything has changed in my world. I don’t think there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, but actually, like I said, a reflection I’m really proud of what we’ve come through this year. I’m really proud of what I’ve achieved. I love the foundations that I’ve built and I’m super excited for 2027.

I’ve already got five or six really exciting meetings booked in for January that I think it’s just. Transformed my business and I’m going to work with organizations. I just, I’m so excited to have that impact and the feedback from the programs that I have run. It just been phenomenal. So I know that I’m in my passion.

I know that I’m in [00:09:00] my purpose and it’s that trust and faith and belief. Now that I just take, I’ll take a couple of weeks to really slow down and switch off and come back into January, just re-energized and refocused and PCR test negative. So let’s get on with lessons. So I’ve kept them quite sure just to kind of match my energy.

So let’s get started on these lessons. So the first lesson is really around being about you first. So it’s really about just putting your focus on to you and your loved ones as a priority and your health and wellbeing. As part of that, I want to say health and wellbeing. I mean your physical health, but also your mental health and making sure that you give yourself what you need when you need it.

And you’re not just paying everyone else first all the time, but you’re prioritizing yourself and your family and putting that above work, paying that above, uh, what you feel that you need to be doing and what you need to achieve. And [00:10:00] just for the sake of your own mental health and wellbeing, knowing.

You only get one shot at this. So making sure that you keep making yourself a priority and you keep that focus on your own health and your wellbeing and your peace of mind. So let’s that’s lesson number one, lesson number two is don’t underestimate the basics. When I worked with clients, part of what we do early on, they create their own Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

So if you don’t know, the muscle hierarchy needs, it’s five different levels in a triangle with the most foundational needs that we all have as humans at the very bottom. So the very basic stuff. So don’t underestimate those foundations, those basics. So things like sleeping, I getting a pocketknife. And eating and eating well and eating consistently, and then moving and honoring your body and moving away, that feels good to you.

So I help my clients create these are their own muscle hierarchy of needs so that they can, then when they’re not feeling great, they can look at that and see which [00:11:00] ones potentially they’re not meeting. And I also have clients create something called feel good foundations in line with this as well. I feel good.

Foundations are the things that you consistently can do to help you to feel really good in your week. So the women I worked with at the very top of organizations, and it’s easy to let that slip sometimes it’s easy to let the things that are for you just fall through the cracks or be mood because of a potent meeting and a diary.

So just again, work with clients on those feel-good foundations of being really consistent. So you go into every role in your life feeling good, feeling, energized, feeling excited rather than depleted and tired. So that’s number two. Number three. Number three is focus on what matters most. And what do I mean by this focus in just really take some time to understand what matters to you most so now, and in the future.

Whether that’s the people that you love, whether that’s your career, whether that’s, um, a qualification, whether that’s whatever that is, [00:12:00] and really creating your diary around that. So setting boundaries and saying no based on what matters most to you, what does it matter? How does it matter that you spend your time?

Where is it? Where does it feel good to spend your time? Where does it not feel so good? I just really build. Your life around what matters most. And what’s important to you and not letting that just sit down the party rest, but keep it being a focus. Keep those things, just make sure that you’re honoring them in your diary and you’re making them an absolute priority.

So that’s number three. What matters most

if what I talk about really resonates with you and you love what I have to say, and you have moments and flashes of inspiration from the. I would invite you to get in touch, to find out how I can help you. So individually, that can be through my coaching focus program for my VIP program, depending on how you [00:13:00] like to learn and what will suit you, or I can help you in your organization to really help the women that you work with across the organization at all different levels.

And at that very senior level to really feel empowered and to know that they can reach the very, the most senior levels in that organization and to give them the. In who they are and the clarity and what they want to be able to get there. And we do that through workshops, do that through leadership programs, and we can do that.

Free consulting work. If you are looking for help with any of that, drop me an email nycla@nicholasschoolco.com. The spelling’s not the easiest. So all the details were in the show notes results I get for clients. Clients have been promoted twice in the six months we’ve worked together. They’d been invited to join the board.

They’ve gone from redundancy to being offered three dreams. They’ve gone from being pushed out of an organization to going into bigger organization and a bigger role with a bigger. And just a quote from a client that I particularly love. I’ve gone from the pit of despair. When I started working with Nick to just being really [00:14:00] fucking happy.

And she is an incredibly empowered leader. Now, if you’re not quite ready for that, you can download my overwhelm to on fire. The details that are in the show notes, but that really helps you everyday to stay in your fire. So it helps you to clear your head, helps you to come back to what’s important to you, and it helps you to have that most impact and influence every single day.

It’s a little Quip sheet that you can just go through and tick things off. So go and download that. Or you can subscribe to my newsletter, which comes out every Friday, which is a Roundup of the week. Really? So what’s going on in my world. What’s a blog for that. A quick video, that’s going to help your particular subject.

And it’s all about helping female leaders to find their fire and also stats and, and any research from the industry as well. And things that I’m reading that I really love and recommendations that we’re making. So go and subscribe to that. And finally, for the podcast, if you haven’t done so already. I would love you to go and leave us a review and subscribe so that you never miss an [00:15:00] episode.

And you’re always going to have the, when that release and doing that as well. Not only helps you, but it also means that we’re going to reach more women and we’re going to be able to start that revolution to helping female leaders, to keep that fire, find their fire and keep it. So keep that passion, that purpose side excitement.

So if you haven’t done that already, please go on. Thank you.

Number four, number four is just a reminder of just that let’s get back to normal just to reminder really that there is no normal. What is your normal as not someone else’s normal and actually just to focus on what, what you need in that moment and what feels good to you, but not be comparing and looking around and just trying to get back to normal.

And especially if your normal didn’t feel great and you were feeling depleted and it wasn’t suiting you. And it was just draining or energy. Just trust that there is no normal, it’s just your way, [00:16:00] focus on your way first and creating what you. And what matters most to you? Like. So number five, just to reminder, really for those people pleasers out there, when you say yes to you, you will end up saying no to others.

And that’s absolutely. Okay. So I learned this lesson the hard way a few times this year. I’m not always great at saying, well I need and what I feel, and I’ve tuned into that more and more because I don’t have. The energy that I used to and don’t have all the time, because I can only do any work when I have that really great energy.

So it means that when I say yes to myself, I might well need to say no to others. So there’s some really big opportunities that come up that I’ve said no to, because they didn’t feel right because they didn’t feel aligned because they didn’t. I, my heart didn’t leap. So for the people pleasers, no. Saying yes to, you might mean a no to others, but you’re saying no to that thing in that moment.

It’s not about saying no to that person forever. And just come back to what is a yes [00:17:00] for you and what is a big Heartfield excited fizzy hearted. Yes. Come keep coming back to that. Number six is have a plan, but let it flex. And this is where a term that I’ve used a lot with clients this year comes up again and again, which is flexible discernment.

What do I mean by that? So discernment is that ability to choose and know what is right for us and be discerning with our time, be discernible by energy and be discerning with our expertise. So almost think there’s a finite amount of all of those. So where do I most want to spend my time? My energy and my expertise.

But be flexible in that discernment. So say for example, if you were wanting to spend some time each morning focused on yourself, some mornings that might be that you will you’ll feel energized. You want to go out, go out for walk or do fitness session. Other mornings. It might mean that you have a lion and you have some extra time with that.

So that flexible discernment, so that planning, but flexible. And I find this a lot [00:18:00] with clients as well. If they building it, building a plan and a diary that feels good for them. But if they don’t have that flexible discernment, what they need in that moment, on that day, they can make it a bit of a pastoral fail check across some don’t meet everything.

They feel like they’ve failed before the days even begun. So that flexible to sermon is brought around. What do I need in that moment? What’s going to feel good for me today. Number seven, number seven is really. Just focusing on changing your language around, uh, moving away from, I need to do this, or I have to do this, or I should, or I could, and those kinds of soft words, and instead think about what you get to do and use that more positive frame of reference.

So for example, for me, I get to share my voice on social media. I get to record these podcast episodes. So it’s not a need to, it’s not a have to, it’s not a should have occurred that language that just doesn’t sit so well. Think about [00:19:00] what you get to do and just remind yourself when as soon as you say, get you, you reminding yourself that you get to choose every day, what’s important to you and what you’re doing.

Number eight. Number eight is something that I’ve learned. I see many of my clients having learned this year as well, all or nothing is not the way. So many of the women that I work with are women at the very top of organizations or at the top of their industries. Incredible, incredible women. And they’ve done incredibly well in their current.

And this brilliant and they’re in this brilliant, brilliant position now to be able to influence it, to be able to role model to others. But part of how they’ve got there is kind of going all in giving everything that they have. And actually all enough thing is not the way because we’re all, when you go all in.

That’s giving all of yourself, given all of your energy all your time, all of your effort, it gives you give so much over time that that leads to you. Can’t keep on at that pace. So it ends up with giving nothing because you’ll burn out because you’re exhausted because you have to say no, so all or [00:20:00] nothing is not the way.

And then lesson number nine that leads on from that is just don’t underestimate the power of small steps. And this is something that a lot of my clients have to adjust. A lot of my clients are women at the very top. And they used to that all or nothing. They used to going all in. So we kind of go through a process of reeducating them and reminding them that actually small steps, small, consistent steps, create momentum that create real trust in yourself.

That the thing that you want is your achieving it. And you’re moving towards that. That creates some real momentum and those small steps, you can lay them. They become the foundations to. Bigger progress on. So don’t underestimate those small steps and trust. They show that you are on the right path and a genetically, you know, that you can achieve those.

It creates real momentum. It creates trust in yourself and the process [00:21:00] that you’re on and it just leads to big, big programs. So lesson number tad is really focusing on aligns very much what you said about all in our thing, but just really to remind you on a, felt this a lot this year and had to really restructured my time, restructured my diary, set some very clear boundaries that you’ll never feel enough doing more.

So if you don’t feel enough at times, if you have that imposter syndrome, or if you feel like who am I to do this? If you keep doing more, you keep giving more and you keep. Your team is overstepping the boundaries of what you do to help other people out. Or if you’re stepping into small development opportunities, or if you’re taking on a new area or new couple of employees, just to help someone out and that you keep doing more in that search to fill it up, then your you’re never going to fill enough.

That’s not the way to feel enough. So that comes from that feeling of being enough, comes from you, knowing yourself and that into that [00:22:00] understanding of who you are and what your. So that leads on Stan lesson number 11, which is focused on you and the internal rather than being led by the external. So rather than spend your time maybe comparing or beating yourself up or judging other people for where they are, what they’re doing.

Or even looking at the news and getting frustrated about where the world is at the moment or worried or anxious about what’s coming next. Take that energy, take that time. And just really, rather than focusing externally, bring that focus back to Intel and back to you. So for example, rather than worrying about what’s outside of your control, Come back and look and spend that energy instead, looking at upgrading your beliefs.

And that’s a huge piece of work that I do with a lot of my clients is really to look at a belief, that belief framework and look at how that belief framework, where’s it come from? Whose voice is it potentially in, [00:23:00] how’s it now affecting them. And then we upgrade that belief because your beliefs are created when you’re a child.

And a lot of these women at the very top are still leading their lives from a framework that’s now out. So rather than focus externally, just bring that focus back to you. And back to internally, it starts to flip around how you spend your time and your. Less than number 12. So this is really about just identifying and knowing your value.

So value is a huge part of the work I do with all of my clients. And it’s just absolutely transformative. So just knowing, rather than knowing yourself for the different roles in your life of your job title, and being a partner, being a mum, potentially who you are at. This is about knowing you are what’s the heartbeat, your values are the heartbeat of who you are.

See, it’s just really a huge shift in yourself. Identity to know these, because then you can take steps towards coming more [00:24:00] aligned. So identify and know your values and that’s something that a coach like me can really, really help you with number 13. So it’s kind of related to that internal, not external focus, but just keep your eyes ahead.

So keep your eyes on your road ahead and just try and keep the blinkers on and not be distracted by what others are doing around you. So not what your peers are doing, not what that person that triggers you and makes you feel. Is doing or what someone who seems to have like a completely golden life is doing, but just really focused on keeping your eyes ahead and on your road.

So this kind of like stay in your lane because when you compare comparing leads to despair, um, at least to you judging yourself against a framework that’s completely outside of your own. And when you feel yourself starting to compare, when you see you start seeing your, your life for those judgmental eyes, just come back to you, come back to the road ahead for you and just.

Something that I get my clients to think about, [00:25:00] which is super powerful. Just think about the chapter of your life that you were in on. What does that mean for you? And also remind yourself that if you’re looking at social media and you’re looking at what other people are doing, a lot of what’s posted, isn’t actually the truth.

So know that it’s okay to keep your eyes ahead and keep your eyes on your life and what’s going on for you and just remind yourself, compare at least to. So number 14, just to remind yourself to live more in the moment. And again, this is something that I work a lot with my clients on. I may use a little technique called time travel and time travel is if you think from a brain perspective, you can only ever be.

Thinking in three motor time. So that’s either you’re in the past, maybe ruminating or beating yourself up something you didn’t do or didn’t do as well as you wanted in the future, feeling worried and anxious about what’s happening next. Or you can be in the now. So ruminate saying ready, all you can do is reframe.

If you’re living in the [00:26:00] past where you frame what’s happened. And if you’re worried about the future, all you can do now is come back to the moment and lay the foundations for that future. So both of those bring you back to being in the living in the moment. So what’s going to help you to live more in the moment what’s going to help you to really just be conscious and aware of when your, maybe dipping back into the past or you’re fast-forwarding to the future.

So what those things help you to feel more grounded in the here and now? So. The clients, they can be things like meditation. It can be things like breathing and slowing things down. It can be spending time with loved ones. It can be a particular favorite place going out for a walk, connecting in nature exercise.

So just think about what are the things that helped me to be more in the moment. I know for me, we had so much change at times. I was so worried about the future that I just didn’t live in the moment I was so paralyzed by fear about the future. So. I downloaded the calm app. I was listening to that every night before I went to sleep.

And that really, really helped me and also tapping really, really helped me just to [00:27:00] get back to sleep and just live in the moment and just remind myself that I was safe and that I was loved and I was supported. So number 15 is just a reminder of just in relation to a lot of what. The lesson. So I mentioned the beginning, but know that it’s okay to change your mind.

It’s okay. Something that suited you once and it was your dream at certain point, doesn’t need to be that way forever. A promise that you’ve made to someone or a role that you took in all good faith that is now slightly different. It’s okay. To change your mind. It’s okay. It’s that? No, just to really honor yourself and your intuition of like this isn’t right for me anymore and it’s okay.

You’re safe and you’re okay to do. And if you put your priorities and everyone else and how they’re going to react, this is your life and you need to do it your way. So you have permission just to change your mind. You have permission to say actually, no, that’s not for me anymore. And that’s okay. So we are now onto number.

[00:28:00] 15 and lesson number 15 is really about creating your environment. So even when we were moving so much, despite moving house twice, what I always honored myself with is just creating an office environment that I love. So in both the houses, both times we’ve moved this year. I’ve given myself a really nice room.

I’ve set it up in a way that I love I’ve had my book, case order, color preference. So all the colors fit together just to how, how we, my OCD tendencies, I’ve had images on the wall that I’ve loved. I’ve had my vision board up and that’s really helped me just to have an environment. Where there is the moment that I will control this, that consistency of creating to create a certain feeling.

So from a brain perspective, having that consistency just leads to me being calmer, feeling content in the moment, really focused and able to work despite all the change that’s going on around me. So in the two houses that we’ve moved into, I’ve given myself [00:29:00] that. We’ve investing in a proper office space.

It’s an environment that I love it’s environment. I go into it. I feel really inspired. So if you think about it from a brain point of view, the brain loves consistency and loves that prediction response. And actually what we can do is we can create feelings. For that consistency and that prediction and response.

So by creating your environment, you’re creating that, that environment, that best opportunity for that recipe for feeling calm for feeling content. So what do you need from that? So that’s a really, really powerful, and it’s something that I’ve helped a lot of my clients with this year. It’s just though the setting of the foundations and creating those environments to really be the best that they can be.

Less than them 16 as bold and brave honesty. So this starts with really being brave and honest with yourself. And there’s a great model that I really love, um, which is the five levels of truth telling. And I love this model because it’s a great way of reminding yourself where you [00:30:00] might not being honest with yourself, and I’m not calling you a liar, but the may be places that you are lying too.

Self-righteous scared of facing the truth. So these are five stages that you can go for it. And just reflect on where am I? Not being honest to myself. So there’s five levels are telling the truth to yourself about yourself. The second one, tell the truth to yourself about another third one, tell the truth about yourself to another, and then the fourth one telling the truth about another to that other, and then finally telling the truth to everything about every everyone about everything.

So it kind of, this is from, um, Neale, Donald Walsch and conversation with God, which is a book that I hugely recommend. And it’s just a way of really starting with that, being honest with yourself, because that’s how you make, that’s how you create a level of awareness. And that’s how you can start to make shifts and changes rather than burying your head in the sand.

So that is a hugely, hugely powerful thing. I’ve seen a gang and a gang. [00:31:00] That’s a number 17, just really that reminder of, and feet and vulnerability as part of this new way to lead. So what we’ve seen, they’ve been seen probably more traditionally as softer skills, probably more aligned to female leaders and women at the top, but actually they’ve now been re rebadged as power skills.

And actually I think empathy and vulnerability is part of leadership. As part of that new way of leading and part of the change that is needed at the very top of organizations to create that equality and parity. And actually as a leader, I challenge you to start really role modeling, having that empathy.

So for others, for yourself, and also demonstrating a role modeling vulnerability. So you don’t need to sell everything to everyone. But what are ways that you could just be honest with your team? What are ways that it can share a little bit with your peers and just start to just increase that level of vulnerability?

It’s not about telling everyone everything, but it’s just [00:32:00] about being open and honest sharing vulnerability. I’m really having empathy for the people around them. That’s number 17. And then number 18 is really about forgiving and being kind. And in a year where we had people like Caroline flack, who just chose that they didn’t want to be in this world any longer, that life was too difficult and too challenging.

Um, it’s just that reminder of forgiving yourself and just being kind and not assuming that we know what’s going on in someone’s world, but just for giving ourselves for judgments that we make for ourselves, other people are. Being kind and having a, just an attitude of just, just kindness, just doesn’t cost anything.

It doesn’t take any time. And I know at times I’ve been incredibly hard on myself, but I, I have over time forgiven myself for things that I did, the actual reflection I would do differently. Now I’m being kind to myself when I need to have what I need rest. I have an app, um, when I need to slow down, I’ll just take that [00:33:00] extra time now and just being kind to myself.

And I’m really, I want to be able to role model that for the people around me and people in my team. And just, I would just really urge you to think about what is the role model that you want to be for those around you, and what do you want to be able to show and demonstrate to them in a really tangible way and almost give them the permission.

To be or to, to really own. And if that’s something like having that vulnerability and that empathy just know it’s okay to actually show that and demonstrate that first, uh, number 19 number 19 is really about knowing that it’s it’s time to change and that there’s a new way ahead. There’s a new solid leadership, this new form of leadership.

And that’s about leading from within as who you truly are. And actually as part of that is going to be. It’s going to be women who are going to change the world and drive rail equality and parity across organizations with the support of man with the support of people that identify [00:34:00] in all different ways across the organization.

Um, and it’s time for change and it’s time for new way ahead and knowing that you are actually a big part of that, and you’re going to be at the forefront of that, and just be excited about that and knowing that you don’t need to know every single step, but you can just take the next. Just a couple of molds finish off with 21.

For me is always learning. I been a coach for a long time now, but I finished my ICF qualification this year, which is more involved than I ever thought it would be, but I absolutely loved it. And I just learned so much. It became such a more powerful coach. Always have got great results, but now it’s just, it’s just a different level.

And it’s just for me, knowing that I’ll always be a lifelong learner. I just being incredibly excited about that and grateful for the opportunities to do that. So just really invite you to think about learning, always learning and just always stepping forward and taking the lessons even when it’s difficult, even when it’s painful.

Number 22, just [00:35:00] remind yourself that you’re not alone. So even on the days you feel like you’re alone, even on the days you feel like you’re the only one. My programs that I run as group programs, one of the biggest thing, the women on those programs take from it is that they’re not alone. They’re not the only one to feel how they feel.

So just reach out, reach out to friends, reach out to mentor, reach out to a coach like me and just understand. I know how you’re feeling. You’re not the only one who’s going to be feeling like. It’s your journey and your story. But you’re certainly not alone in feeling us out in way number 23, just really let yourself be focused on what you’re in control of and let go of what you’re not in control of.

So there’s a great model. And I forget from Adam Adam Grant, and that’s all about the, the model of countries. So it has three different layers in circles. The first one at the very heart is what you’re in control of the next one is what you can influence. And then the final one is what is outside of your control.

And as you think about all the change we’ve had this year, a [00:36:00] lot has been outside of your control. So it’s okay to let that go. It’s okay to worry about it a bit, but then just know that actually, where do you want your time and energy to be? I know for me, I don’t watch news anymore. And that’s a very conscious choice cause I want to spend my time and energy on what I mean controller, not what is outside of my control, 24, just a reminder, really that we tend to overestimate what we can do in a day or a week or those shorter timeframes.

But we underestimate the change that we can really, we can drive in a year. So if I look back at the beginning of my year to now, The change is just huge uses, not, not a single thing in my life. That is the same, but I know that I could overestimate what I can do in a day and feel disappointed yet. If I look back on the air as a whole, I’m incredibly proud.

So just readjust those expectations and know that if you’re consistent, With those daily actions and those things are important to you. What matters most years, we said at the very beginning that that’s going to play out over year to drive huge change. And then finally, as number 25, [00:37:00] just to reminder, remind yourself of who you are.

So I’ve had to do this a lot this year, but remind yourself that you are strong. You are incredibly resilient. You are powerful. You have influence, you have a voice and you are here to really drive. Positive change in the world and you are here to have an impact and you do have influence. And just, don’t forget that.

I keep reminding yourself of that. If it helps use affirmations, it helps. Right. I have an exercise that my clients do, which is just write down, it’s headed who your idea, and they just write down a list of all their wins and that’s something they come back to on the days of having a wobble on the days, they don’t feel so great.

So you are strong, you’re powerful. You have a voice, you have influence, you have impact and you have a story and a journey ahead of you and a story to create. So that’s it for today. I’m not going to go back in and I’m not going to go back and just, um, reiterate all of that. Cause I just want you to leave [00:38:00] you those lessons.

But I think, um, my cough is getting the better of me a little bit now. So I just want to say thank you so much for supporting. In 2021. And if you do, what, if you are interested in work me in 2022, do drop me a message or my details or on the show notes. And I’m super excited to just be with you free 20, 22 hours just growing the podcast more and more.

And if you haven’t already done so please review. Right and subscribed. Cause that’s how we find more women’s help, um, that just really needs to bring them into our community. So thank you so much. Have a great Christmas. I’d love to know which lessons resonate with you. So drop me a message and let me know.

Thanks so much. Bye.