Nicola: [00:00:00] hello. Welcome to the female leaders on fire podcast. I’m your host. I’m Nick Buckley and I am the coach working with women at the very top of organizations. Aspiring leaders really help them to find their fire. So that passion, that purpose, that excitement, so that they can have more impact, more influence and more income as a result and be a real force for good in the corporate world and drive equality and Paris.

So today I’m super excited because I’m going to be sharing a little bit of my planning process that I go through with my clients. This is a pause and passion plan process. So it’s all about feelings first. So it’s not your traditional way of planning. We have smart objectives that can feel very boring and very dull and very, you feel quite disconnected to it.

It’s not with all objectives first and going straight into action. So it’s [00:01:00] not that corporate way of planning of those object to start at the top. And then just filtering down through everyone else’s objectives into review, setting up for personal development views. Feeling first, that process, which is incredibly powerful because support it, does it sets in a process, a system within our brain that is called the reticular activating system.

And that system just means that we are short-cutting ourselves to our goals that we want to achieve. We are using almost, almost like adding. Rocket fuel to get you there even more quickly. So the reticular activating system is a system within the brain that the more that you feed the goals, the more that you have clarity and the more that you can just be so, so clear on what you want.

The brain will cut through all the fountains of millions, of bits of information received from all the different centers. And it will just find those little connections. It will find that network. It will find the different ways of bringing together things that you [00:02:00] hadn’t seen before or people that you hadn’t thought about to really relate, to help you to get to where you want to be.

So it’s this incredibly powerful system that we don’t really use and that doesn’t fire off, unless we’re super clear. And we have that clarity on what. But also how we want to feel. So this process is very much a feeling led process. So I’m going to take you through five steps today to help you plan in a way that feels good and help you step away from having to have January resolutions.

Let’s face it. No one feels good saying those. Everyone expects to fail them. Um, within a month, 80% of people have failed them and they’re just fitting worse. They’re stalling the air feeling down the feeling like they’ve let themselves down, like they’ve already failed. So this is a flexible framework.

That’s going to really, really help you put in place your own plan, just to start with your feelings and how you want to feel. Which is incredibly, incredibly, incredibly powerful. So in the show notes, [00:03:00] it’s going to be a link to a couple of worksheets that are going to help take you through this process.

And I took a group of HR directors through this last week. And just imagine the world of HR at the moment, it’s been incredibly challenging. Couple of years, HR directors have really F it’s been challenging for everyone, and everyone’s gone through that own journey and their own different way. But HR directors have been at the brunt of going through the furlough system.

Potentially taking pay cuts or instigating pay gaps with our teams, potentially making people redundant, um, restructuring organizations and really part of just trying to keep it, um, organizations together and being efficient through what has been a really, really challenging time. So they’ve been at the forefront of.

And they’ve stepped into that breach and they’ve really stepped forward into owning their roles. And even beyond that, and because a lot of the HR darts, I worked with a women, a lot of them have also just had this huge empathy, um, this huge wave of feelings [00:04:00] that sat on their shoulders, just worrying about the team wearing or what was going on for each one of them.

For some of them, they might be the only contact point for some people in their team who live alone. So there’s just been this huge, huge pressure, this huge. Wave of change they’ve dealt with and been at the forefront of, so it was really, really powerful to spend some time with an incredible group of all women.

Just really taking time to sit down and pause and reflect back at the year. And a positive, but really honest way with a really clear framework, take the lessons from the year. So that suppose part of just seeing and taking breath and looking back, and then the passion part, just really thinking about what the feelings they want to lead with in 2022.

And what do they most want? Um, that just really, really energized with them. It really helped to shake off the last couple of years and really reconnect back to what was their mission. For many of them, what they do is really that purpose, that passion, they make an incredible [00:05:00] differences to the organizations they’re part of, and they really drive from just being very hot lead, but in a very head led world that they’re navigating that combination of being had led, but also being heart-focused.

And they’re very much at the heart of that. So let’s get stuck in so standard. What happens with planning? If you’re looking at, in January, a lot of people put themselves under pressure to have absolute clarity by the 1st of January on everything they want to achieve in the next year. So, first thing I want to say, it’s just to remind you that you don’t need to put yourself under that pressure.

You don’t need to have everything. Aligned and ready and have absolute clarity on the 1st of January. And you’re not a failure at all, and you’re not unusual and you’re not leaving it to chance. If you just take a little bit of time to think about this, we’re setting you up for the whole year. So that’s 365 days.

So give yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of time, just to make sure [00:06:00] that you spend those days really wisely and women at the top. I often see this. They can very easily. It starts to get straight into action mode because that’s their comfort zone, because that’s what they know because that’s where they’ve done so well before.

But if you go back to the analogy of just climbing the corporate ladder, it’s about making sure your ladders against the right wall before you put your energy into client. So the first him say is don’t put yourself under pressure, but just take your time to really think about looking back, taking that pause before you start to look forward.

Second thing that I just wanted to mention as well is that objectives and goals can be whatever you want them to be. They can be a feeling. They can be something very tangible. They could be a new job. They can be anything you want them to be. So. I know in corporate world, there was a lot around smart objectives and smart objectives where the specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed.

And for me, smart objectives are just a bit of a snooze fast. [00:07:00] They’re just really boring. They don’t excite me. They never, they never connected to my heart. They just felt like, I mean, who wants a goal? That’s realistic. Yes, we want realistic, but it’s just. Realistic just sounds dull, attainable and realistic as well.

Feel like they overlap anyway, and it just makes everything seem smaller and we want to be real, but we also want to dream big and allow ourselves to really go big. And that’s the second point that I wanted to talk about. It’s just allowing yourself to really use the universe as a wishlist and just really think about everything that you do want and get excited about it.

And I use a structure of my clients and it’s called the magic day structured. So the magic day is when we’re talking about their future, when they’re not sure about what they want, they go through this exercise and the magic, day’s all about, it’s like a Groundhog day, but a Groundhog day in a brilliant way that you could have over and over and over again.

And you would absolutely love it. So if you see in the bill Murray movie, it’s like really, really amazingly positive [00:08:00] version of that. So in this magic day, the clients gave three 30 authority questions just to really think about everything in that day. So, where are they waking up? Who are they waking up with?

What’s that bad light. What’s the bedroom. Like, what are the towers are they use? Like, what do they eat in the morning? What’s the temperature outside? What do they do when they first get up? Um, what are they doing for the day they work? When do they finish their day? When they start the day who they working with, who’s around them.

How do they spend their time? And we just got into some huge, huge detail about that day and what that’s going to look like, but also how it’s going to feel for them and what it’s going to bring them. So what I really invite you to think about is not just thinking about that magic day, that is really close to where you are now, but also think about that, that end game.

We’ll say, think about that almost. I call it the magic day plus plus, so you have your magic day. If you were to build on that again and imagine yourself, you’re already in your magic day, but you’re in [00:09:00] the bigger version of your magic day. What does that look like? And what you’re doing here is you’re just opening your mind to what is possible.

You’re opening your mind to. What you could achieve and where you could get to. And you’re just signaling to the universe. You’re ready for more, your siblings, the university, you’re ready to receive your siblings, the universe that you have, this big purpose and this big and tan and the universe starts to conspire with you.

Yes. One of the steps of manifesting as well, getting super, super clear on what you want. So really go big with this really use the universe as your, as your wishlist super quick tip. If it feels like too much to start with something like, well, magic day and everything that you do, one start with something super simple.

So this is a quick brain hack. So the third thing, just to talk about if it feels too much, if it feels too overwhelming, In feeling like it’s too much going on in your own mind, you’re a bit stuck in your own head at the moment with everything that’s happened over the last two years, just really think about what you don’t want.

So think about what are the things that you [00:10:00] don’t want in your life right now that you have now, or you have had in the past, and the way that this uses the brain is that the brain has a huge negative bias. So the brain has three different biases. So what is negativity? One is recency and one is our story over other people.

So we believe what we evidence to see in our own life over peoples. So with that negativity bias. The brain will always attach itself more to something that’s potentially negative to something that potentially puts us in danger to something that could lead to us being injured or loss of life. So the brain focuses there because it’s safety first to make sure the brain’s primary job is to make sure we wake up tomorrow morning.

So had some negativity by. So, what it means is that if you’re struggling to think of that, what do I want and what does that magic day plus plus that bike or when I think my wishlist for the universe and what I want, what it means is that if you’re struggling with that, that big patient, it feels overwhelming.

Start with what you don’t want. And I use this a lot [00:11:00] with clients that might just feel that they want that clarity on that, on their future and their vision, but they’re just being overwhelmed. Instantly, you could list out 10, 15, 20 things you don’t want. So they could be about setting boundaries at work.

They could be about how you look after yourself. They could be about when you say no in your day job, they could be about how someone at work each year, what, all the things in your life that you don’t want. So if you’re struggling with that magic day plus plus, and that going big, just start with what you don’t know.

So that’s my third tip. My fourth tip is really around just pausing and reflecting. And looking back before you look forward. So again, in the pause and passion plan, the first part of what we do is all about looking back at a period of time. So if you look back over the last year, What were your wins?

What were your lessons? What was a real heartfelt, brilliant moment? Uh, what was your struggle? What were your challenges? And just what we’re doing here is we’re looking for the diamonds in the rough. We’re looking for the lessons that you’ve [00:12:00] learned over the year, whether that’s in a negative way or positive way, it doesn’t really matter what you want to take the lessons.

So take some times to take some time to pull. Take some time to reflect, take some time to look back, take some time to list out what you’ve achieved and what you’ve done, the share. And if you’ve not done something that you wanted to, why not, it might be something outside of your control. It might be that your role has changed.

Um, it might be that your boss and the structure has changed around you. So just be really, really honest about it, but use this time to pause and reflect and look back and be really honest with us. Be really honest about what’s gone. Well, what’s not gone so well. And just think about it almost like if you put your glasses on and you have a lens of truth, what does your li yeah.

Uh, what does your year looking back? Look. So that’s my fourth tip. My fifth tip for you is just set a theme for the year. So think of something like a hashtag or headline, and the reason [00:13:00] this is so powerful is again, the brain loves clarity. So setting what we call like an umbrella emotion or a headline like this that you want to fill for the year, it just gives you.

A really great way of just questioning everything that comes into your life or is already in your life and saying, does this fit? Is this the right step? Is this a great next step? So for example, a lot of the women on this particular review session, the HR director session, I ran a couple of weeks ago for a lot of them.

They talked about wanting to be more in the moment and just live now. And that was a big lesson for them all in this in 2021. So. To use that as a frame of next year, a lot of them are seeking contentment or seeking. Consistency. So you could use that same question. What’s going to help me to feel more content.

Is this going to help me to feel more content? Is this not going to help me to feel more content? This is going to help me to be more consistent. What does consistency mean to me? How can I be more consistent? What am I foundation stones of being consistent? And [00:14:00] just that umbrella term just gives everything a checkpoint.

It gives everything a framework to just benchmark against and say, is this going to help move me towards. The umbrella theme for the year, or is it going to move me away from it? And that’s a super, super powerful way of almost sifting through opportunities that come up being really honest with yourself and just having a framework to say yes or no, give yourself permission and being really comfortable.

So think that headline or that hashtag, and if you can, as well, something that really helps a lot of my clients is have some visual way of keep checking in with that, or, or audible way, if you’re depending on how you like to learn. So could that be a vision book? Could that be an affirmation? Could that be a screensaver on your computer or your phone?

Keep reminding yourself of that and you can use it as a weekly check-in if you want to. So this week, how have I, how have I schooled out of 10 for content? How could I plus one that next week or what’s created that school? And if so, why, how could I improve that next week? [00:15:00] So it gives you a year-long focus and it gives you a framework and you don’t need to be wedded to that forever, but just for now, just help yourself set up and help yourself have that structure because the brain loves that prediction response on to number six.

So number six is all about feelings first. So as part of the pause and passion plan, When we talk about the passion plot. So if we’ve done the reflection, pausing, looking back, we then start to look forward. And the first thing before we get into any goals, before we get into actions and stuff and things, we start with feelings.

First, I’m feeling thirst because brain F every goal that we set is a search for a feeling. That’s what the brain is looking for. It’s, it’s searching to feel that feeling it’s not searching. The thing was just the byproduct that gets us there. It’s just the root together. If you like. So start with your feelings first.

If you think that headline again, are there a couple of things are the three or four feelings that you really want to feel consistently next year that are really going to help you to have a brilliant year? So what are those [00:16:00] feelings? So think about this year and how it’s felt. And then look forward to next year and think, well, well, what is the antidote to that?

How do I want to feel next year? And again, from a brain perspective, you’re creating some brilliant protection response. You’re creating how you want to feel, which is so, so powerful. And then you can start to think about what my ingredients to feel that way. So it’s that consistency. If it is that feeling calm and contentment, what are the ingredients are going to help me to feel like that.

Well, the feel-good foundations that I can pay my diary every single week to feel like that. What are the things that stopped me feeling like that? So feelings first and from a brain perspective, when we look at the feelings, we really supercharge that. And we really sat in process that reticular activating system.

So get super honest before you go into actual woman mode, that’s all brilliant, but being really honest about how you want to feel and start there for the feelings. First, if you want to read more and less is brilliant, but by an American author called Danielle LaPorte is an incredible [00:17:00] lady. And she wrote a book called the desire map and the desire map is all about rather than.

Smart goals or objectives that, you know, might leave you feeling a bit disconnected and just like, well, I will do it, but I don’t, I don’t feel it. This is all about leading feelings first. And her processes is at the start gang set the feelings for feelings framework that you most want to feel. So if you want to geek out on that bit more, it’s Danielle LaPorte and it’s called desire.

And then finally, number seven is all about being a woman of action. When I say a woman of action, this is really about moving at a pace that is right for you. So I talked to my clients a lot about pace. I think what we’ll need to do a whole separate podcast on it, paces the pace that feels right for you at that moment in time.

So sometimes it might feel like you’re going a hundred miles out. You’re very career focused. Other times it might feel like you want to slow down and really focus on home or your family and all of that’s okay. That just different chapters of your life. And the pace is going to filter. Um, I [00:18:00] get my clients to really use the idea of pace to look at their week.

So if they’re looking at the diary for the week and the pace feels like an a, and they don’t feel their energies in a. How can I slow that down? What can I let go of in that week to kind of match their energy? Or if they’re feeling great, how can they pick up that energy? So actually if pace this week, I want it to be a nine because I’m feeling so good.

What, what does that look like? What does that mean? So really conscious way of measuring the pace that you’re taking your life out. And that tool is just so. Revolutionary for so many clients to own that pace rather than being on the receiving end of just the pace at six eight to them. So when you’re being a woman of action, really think about that pace, really think about if you’re starting January, feeling tired to slow down the pace that’s okay.

Or if you’re starting January feeling energized and really excited, it’s okay to have a slightly higher pace. That’s all like. And know that life happens in ebbs and flows, and that can also relate back to the chapter of your life. And when you’re a woman of action [00:19:00] as well, when you’re kind of in the action mode, just.

So you don’t need to do everything all at once and do it perfectly know that it’s okay. Just to take a step at a time and trust. So smallest steps cause the smallest steps really create momentum. They really create trust and they create a great foundation that you can build huge long-term progress on.

So don’t underestimate the power of small steps as women at the top. We can often we want everything when it done perfectly. We want it done yesterday. I think last night is not good enough. So just change your frame of reference there. Just really challenge you to think about what’s my next step. What’s my next step.

After that, I just know that it’s okay to take a step at a time and just enjoy the journey more rather than rushing through life and as part of a woman of action as well. Final thing is just to really take some time at different points for the year, just to really start up right. When you’ve done something or achieved something or you’ve hit a milestone or you’ve lived a week really living in your headline and your emotion of [00:20:00] how you want to feel for the air.

Just takes time, celebrate, take some time to really just look back, reflect and think actually, yeah, I’m on the right track and this feels great. Yeah, we can all be busy looking forward without taking any time to just appreciate where we are and just living in the moment here and now, and just thinking actually I’ve done I’m on the right road and this feels great.

Me. So that’s it for today. So it’s a shorter episode than normal, but I’ve really passionate about helping clients and all of you plant in a way that feels good that isn’t there. Aren’t those January resolutions that no one feels good about. That generally fell 8% of people fail in the first 90 days.

And they’re not those smart objectives that fall out of review sessions. Um, this is about really setting a frame of reference for you for the whole year. So. Those worksheets are going to be in the show notes. So to have a look through those, and I would love to know what your hashtag or headline is going to be for 20, 22.

And I can’t wait to be on that journey [00:21:00] with you. Thanks so much. Bye.

If what I took about really resonates with you and you love what I have to say, and you have moments and flashes of inspiration from the podcast. I would invite you to get in touch, to find out how I can help you. So individually, that can be through my coaching focus program for my VIP program, depending on how you like to learn and what will suit you, or I can help you in your organization to really help the women that you work with across the organization at all different levels.

And at that very senior level to really feel empowered and to know that they can reach the very, the most senior levels in that organization and to give them the. In who they are and the clarity and what they want to be able to get there. And we do that through workshops, do that through leadership programs, and we can do that.

Free consulting work. If you are looking for help with any of that, drop me an email nycla@nicholasschoolco.com. The spelling’s not the easiest. So all the details were in the show notes results I get for [00:22:00] clients. Clients have been promoted twice in the six months we’ve worked together. They’d been invited to join the board.

They’ve gone from redundancy to being offered three dreams. They’ve gone from being pushed out of an organization to going into a bigger organization and a bigger role with a bigger pay rise and just a quote from a client that particular. I’ve gone from the pit of despair. When I started working with Nick to just being really fucking happy and she is an incredibly empowered leader.

Now, if you’re not quite ready for that, you can download my overwhelmed on fire guide the details that are in the show notes, but that really helps you everyday to stay in your fire. So it helps you to clear your head, helps you to come back to what’s important to you, and it helps you to have that most impact and influence every single day.

It’s a little Quip sheet that you can just go through and take the. So go and download that. Or you can subscribe to my newsletter, which comes out every Friday, which is a Roundup of the week. Really? So what’s going on in my world. What’s a blog for that week, a quick video, that’s going to help your particular [00:23:00] subject and it’s all about helping female leaders to find their fire.

And also. And any research from the industry as well and things that I’m reading that I really love and recommendations that we’re making. So go and subscribe to that. And finally, for the podcast, if you haven’t done so already, I would love you to go and leave us a review and subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

And you’re always going to have the one that. And doing that as well. Not only helps you, but it also means that we’re going to reach more women and we’re going to be able to start that revolution to helping female leaders, to keep that fire, find their fire and keep it. So keep that passion, that purpose side excitement.

So if you haven’t done that already, please go and do that. Thank you.