Nicola: [00:00:00] hello. Welcome to the female leaders on fire podcast. I am your host, I’m Nicola Buckley, and I am the coach working with women at the top of organizations, helping them to find that flies, that passion, that purpose Sykes. So they can have more impact or influence and income as a result to drive positive change in organizations and have more of an impact.

So today we are on the third leadership lesson podcast, and today I wanted to talk about, we’ve been talking about confidence, so. This all came off the back of a client starts working. We not feeling confident. So we’ve talked about why you’re lacking confidence. Talk about the truth about confidence today was just giving you three super simple, really powerful confidence, hacks and tips.

So. The first one of those. So if you’re having a day where you’re having a wobble, if you go into a big meeting and you’re not feeling perfectly [00:01:00] confident, this is something that you can do and you can set up and you can come back to, and you can reuse it again. And again, I call it who you’re already are.

So I’m going to pop a worksheet into the show notes. So you can go through this in more detail. I’m just going to take you through what your exercise and what your mission actually is. So who you already are. So this is essentially where we. You take some time and you look back at your history of winning you, look back at your successes.

You look back at what you’ve achieved. You look back at where you were to where you are now. And you also look at the challenges you overcome, the struggles that you’ve come through. So it’s really your history of winning because the brain has three biases. I talk about, I think I’ve talked about in the neuroscience episode in a different one, the brain has three biases and one of those biases is.

Recency. So if you’re not feeling as confident at the moment, if you’re in a new leadership role or you’re in a really challenging organization, or maybe you’re an on somebody, male bald, and you’re just not [00:02:00] feeling confident, this is going to be a great way of getting you back to realizing and seeing and owning all of the brilliant person that you already are.

So just get blank sheet of paper. You’re going to write at the top who I already am. And then what you’re going to do is just set yourself a timer for 10 minutes, and you’re going to write down all of your achievements, all of your successes, everything that’s brought you to here and now, um, the challenges that you’ve overcome.

And the struggles that you’ve, um, come through and just keep writing. So why, why do I ask you to time that ask you to time it, because without that, you’re probably going to sit and feel awkward. You can probably even sit squat. You’re going to sit and think, well, I don’t have anything. Whereas when we set a timer, it’s just in the moment.

Just literally answer the question. So who already is. And list out those wins in your life. I keep writing, keep writing. I keep writing until there’s nothing left. [00:03:00] So what I did this with my coach many years ago, and now I’ve tweaked it a little bit. Since then I sat down. I wasn’t feeling particularly confident.

I had a gym business at that time that was doing okay, but needed some changes and. In this meeting room with my coach and a number of other pastor trainers as I was back then, and I didn’t really want to do it. I thought this isn’t going to change anything. I don’t feel great. It’s not going to make a difference.

I know those things anyway, but when it started the timer, I think there’s another part of me that responded just thinking, who am I to do this? There’s nothing much to write down. And there’s a, almost a Britishness to elf. Gosh, you know, it’s not something I shouldn’t be arrogant. I shouldn’t be showing off.

But then that I kind of realized I didn’t have much time left by that point. And I went from having nothing written down and I think I ended up with 81 different points. That was my history of wedding. And I think I went all the way through. So you start when you’re very young, all the way through to now and including my swimming badges, my bag of [00:04:00] gymnastics and all sorts.

And obviously. This is a list that I have is a living document. So it’s a document that I can go back to that I can add to that. I can keep reading and stepping into that energy of winning on the days. I’m not feeling so confident because this is who I already am. This is me. Now, these are the things I’ve overcome.

These are struggles that I’ve come through. These are my achievements. This is what I’ve. This is what I’ve created in my life. This is who I am. This is what I love. This is my purpose. I do all of those things like. The reason I call it who you already are because you’re only ever going to grow. You only have a good more, you’re only ever gonna step into become a bigger version of who you already are.

So this is a brilliant, brilliant, super simple, yet super powerful hack. The days you’re not feeling so company, you could sit down. If you’ve not done it already, you could sit down and reread it. You can step into that energy. You can remind yourself, this is who I am. I just step into that energy stand, proud stand tall.[00:05:00]

That’s the first one. The second one is really around creating prediction response. So there’s a lot of stats to back this up and support this, but just that idea that if you’re going into meeting, you’re feeding others, take time to do your prep. Take time to think about the questions that might be asked.

Take time to think about who my objects, what you’re sharing. Take time to have conversations outside that meeting with people that you think might be. A bit challenging to get their opinions, get their perspective. And what we’re doing here is really crazy confidence, food protection response. You’re creating confidence because you know, the things that might come up because you’ve thought about the questions, because you thought about the challenges because you’ve gone for your presentation and you’re, you’re owning it, you know, it inside out, you know, the question.

Um, just that prep time to go into that meeting, it’s going to make such a difference to you. Um, and the stats to support this women tend to take a lot more preparation time than men. Men are quite happy [00:06:00] to wear it. Women want to be. They want to go in and they want to create that certainty, that they know the answers, they know their subject, that they are an absolute expert.

So do take that time, think about how what’s going to help you to feel more prepared. What do you need to do? So that’s the second one. The third one then might be a little bit out there, but I just, I love this one and I think you, it’s just a super simple. Very very quick web. Just to stand up before you go into something where you are feeling, you’re feeling nervous about it, I’d just rather than just sitting down and then just going off to the meeting and just going straight into it, think about is that standard.

And creating like a superwoman pose. So superwoman pose is almost just imagine gal, kiddo. Imagine her as wonder woman. Imagine as she’s just about to step into no man’s land. And she stands tall and she’s standing with a leg, showed with parts, she’s standing with a chest out she’s standing. Um, she has a hands on or a waist and she’s just, it changes your body [00:07:00] changed your whole position.

But it also increases testosterone, which is connected with feeling confident. It also decrease cortisol, which is connected with stress. So this wonder woman pose, does it work? Does it not? There’s a 2010 study that reports people who adopted this physical pose had decreased called soul level, increased testosterone and felt more powerful, willing to take risks.

So it’s worth trying and seeing how you feel. Um, with anything, I talked to my client’s balance, anything that I suggest that he do try it on, see how it feels for you. So that’s our third confidence hack and then the fourth and final one is just reaffirm and rather than affirmations, because I think affirmations can be quite challenging if you’re not feeling particularly confident, your brain might be thinking well, that’s not true.

I don’t believe that. So say for you to say, I am. A truly impactful influential leader. You don’t feel it right now. Your brains were going to go, well, you’re not Stephanie true. That’s not who you are. You’re not that important. Who are you to do this? [00:08:00] So rather than affirmations, just think about reaffirming.

So just lines that you can say to yourself that feel really, you feel really connected to, they feel really powerful to you. And that just again, that you’re reaffirming who you are, it’s almost like a similar way to who you already are. The reaffirming. I am stepping into being a leader. I am an increasingly confident leader.

I am an absolute expert in my area. I know that I am confident and courageous enough to speak up. I’m safe to speak up the, what the sensors you’re going to use to reaffirm that confidence. I know that I am confident. I trust my own opinion and perspective. I know that I have a voice that others will want to listen to you.

And I have something important to say. So think about what those re reaffirmations or reaffirming sentences that you can use on a time that you don’t feel so confident. So that’s it for today. So we’ve just got those four super simple confidence hack [00:09:00] that’s today’s leadership lesson. So we’ve got the, who you already are.

We’ve got the time to perhaps to create that petition response. We’ve got the Superman pose. And then we’ve got the rear farming. So there’s re affirmations. That’s it for today. If you’re a woman at the top, looking for help, your confidence do drop me a message. We can book a call and I can see how it can help all my contact details in the show notes.

And thanks so much for today. I hope that helps. Bye

You and you love what I have to say. And you have moments and flashes of inspiration from the podcast. I would invite you to get in touch, to find out how I can help you. So individually, that can be through my coaching focus program for my VIP program, depending on how. Learn and what will suit you, or I can help you in your organization to really help the women that you work [00:10:00] with across the organization at all different levels.

And at that very senior level to really feel empowered and to know that they can reach the very, the most senior levels in that organization and to give them the. In who they are and the clarity and what they want to be able to get there. And we do that through workshops, do that through leadership programs, and we can do that.

Free consulting work. If you are looking for help with any of that, drop me an email nycla@nicholasschoolco.com. The spelling is not the easiest. So all the details are in the show notes results I get for clients. Clients have been promoted twice in the six months we’ve worked together. They’d been invited to join the board.

They’ve gone from redundancy to being offered three dreams. They’ve gone from being pushed out of an organization to going into bigger organization and a bigger role with a bigger. And just a quote from a client that I particularly love. I’ve gone from the pit of despair. When I started working with Nick to just being really happy.

And she is an incredibly empowered leader. Now, if you’re not quite ready for that, you can download my [00:11:00] overwhelmed on fire. The details that are in the show notes, but that really helps you everyday to stay in your fire. So it helps you to clear your head, helps you to come back to what’s important to you, and it helps you to have that most impact and influence every single day.

It’s a little Quip sheet that you can just go through and tick. So go and download that. Or you can subscribe to my newsletter, which comes out every Friday, which is a Roundup of the week. Really? So what’s going on in my world. What’s the blog for that week, a quick video, that’s going to help your particular subject.

And it’s all about helping female leaders to find their fire and also stats and any research from the industry as well. And things that I’m reading the. Um, recommendations that we’re making. So go and subscribe to that. And finally, for the podcast, if you haven’t done so already, I would love you to go and leave us a review and subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

And you’re always going to have the one that release and doing that as well. Not only helps you, but it also means that we’re going to [00:12:00] reach more women and we’re going to be able to start that revolution to helping female leaders, to keep that fire, find their fire and keep it. Keep that passion, that purpose side excitement.

So if you haven’t done that already, please go and do that. Thank you.